I was never one to abide by societal conventions so I found my way out of the crowd at a very young age. I didn't know it back then, but following my heart was the greatest decision I ever made. I also didn't know it back then but that decision brought upon a dark reality, a nightmare that wouldn't end.
Days started and ended in fearful thoughts of everything that could go wrong. Voices in my head told me I couldn't do it, that I made the wrong decision, it made moving out of my comfort zone, even the smallest steps, vey difficult. This wasn't just a day or two, or a couple of months of an anxiety induced reality. Years went by before I saw the sunshine.
I was scared.
What if I was a big embarrassment?
What if no one ever talked to me again?
What if I made a fool of myself?
What if things never happened the way I saw it in my head?
What if I only met failure at every finish line?
And then, in the middle of one of darkest days I ever saw, something happened that changed my whole journey. If the heart could speak, then my heart spoke these words -
There is a destiny created just for you,
greatness spilling out of all its corners.
The road has your name on it and it is your responsibility to bring it to life.
Not doing so will be a waste of a precious human soul.
Share your heart with the world.
Rebecca Solnit said “The things we want are transformative, and we don't know or only think we don't know what is on the other side of that transformation… Never to get lost is not to live.”
We are born into this world, we are sent to be part of this reality, but we aren't taught how to live here, how to survive and thrive. Still, it goes on whether we’re shown the ropes or not. There are only a handful of people on the planet who have the courage to realize that average and mediocre is not the life they wish to live and so they’ve broken the rules and went after their dreams and goals in achieving all they wished to.
I am too, so I understand every inch of this journey. The transformations are sometimes unbearable, the circumstances are terrifying and it’s painful. But we’re human. We’re afraid. We get hurt. We fall. It’s what we do after the fall that matters. It’s a part of survival. Conquering your fears is where the growth lies.
“There are more things likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more in imagination than in reality.” Seneca
Fear is what we feel when the mind thinks we’re being threatened. It keeps us safe. But when our personal growth is limited by fear of taking up that new job opportunity or deciding to wake up an hour earlier to hit the gym then it becomes a problem. In this case, fear steals your glory, greatness and growth.
I dare you. I dare you to face fear. Feel it. Allow it to work in and out of your body. Now, you're free to move on with your life, step out of your bubble and never be held back because that fear has been given what it’s been asking for - your attention. Don’t let it control you, don't let it consume you. All this time you’ve been running from it when all it asked for was your attention, like every other emotion.
In facing my own fears I have only now made radical changes in my life and my career. I have found the courage to fight for my dreams. I found the strength to stand alone until I make it to the top, until I stand tall and proud. I have even found that a deaf ear to discouraging words keeps unnecessary noise out. My wings have come out I have found the courage to take off. I found the courage to honor my failures.I always felt my spot in the world was small but standing in my power makes me feel bigger than ever before. I have found the words I searched for my whole life. And now, with all I have to say I even like the sound of my own voice.
I hope you find the courage to believe in yourself.
You’ll need the warmth of self love in a cold world.
You’ll need the inner strength to win your battles.