We recently had our second baby.

During the last trimester, my wife was going crazy with cleaning and tidying her room and the house. Where she found the energy I honestly do not know.

Every day some new package would arrive containing some new home decor, or cleaning equipment — anything which would beautify the house or room, whilst getting rid of lots of clutter at the same time. Sadly, I got roped into vacuuming duties a little too often for my liking. Hmph.

But in the same spirit, I also got in on the show a little bit, decluttering things that I hadn’t done so for years, including my wardrobe, my office and the garage. Woohoo!

I later learned this was a process called ‘nesting’ — which is an intense desire that most mothers (both human or animal) get in the last few months, to prepare their ‘nest’ for the new arrival.

I can see why the likes of Marie Kondo are so popular. Getting rid of stuff really is therapeutic. It really does help you to feel good. And I found that it actually spawns new ideas and creativity that perhaps had once been lost amongst the clutter. All of a sudden there was space to look at things with fresh eyes, a way of doing things in the room that we had not considered before.

But why?

How did all this great stuff we had collected eventually become a problem (especially one we didn’t realise WAS a problem?)

It got me thinking of other things we do to declutter or detox. Like Hijama (cupping). Our blood is good, healthy and keeps pumping which keeps us alive. It gets mixed with not so good stuff such as the things we eat and can turn toxic. Then we do Hijama which is a process where we get rid of the toxic, bad blood in the body (like an oil change) and keeps you healthy and feeling fresher.

It’s the same with our thoughts. It’s the same process, we can gather good thoughts and mix them with negative ones and then store them away. Sometimes it can get so cluttered in there, we can’t see the wood for the trees anymore. We can’t see the solutions to simple problems.

This is why if you hire a consultant — a bad consultant will keep talking and telling you things. A good consultant will just keep extracting, and asking you question after question. When we answer questions and talk through issues we begin to detox them from our mind, which clears up space and often helps you to come to breakthroughs and solutions yourself. The consultant just helps you get there. I guess this is why you get psychiatrists who are paid so much money for essentially ‘talking’ — or more accurately, asking the right questions so the patient talks. As the maxim goes — a problem shared is a problem halved and all that.

It’s no coincidence why meditation apps such as Headspace, Calm and Simple Habit are all the rage. We need to unwind, slow down embrace stillness to keep order when the world is so hectic and cluttered. Otherwise, we get burnt out and blunt.

Finally, this was something profound that I discussed with a friend not so long ago. When someone passes away in Islam, we have three days of mourning. What often happens is people come to visit you, pay their respects etc. The way it often works is a million (or so) uncle ji’s come and ask you in a hundred different ways — ‘how did it happen’, how did they pass etc etc. Through that process, you are almost forced to explain it multiple times an hour, so that you have articulated it so much that even though its a ‘negative’ emotion, after three days worth, you have talked it out and gotten it out of your system and come to terms with it. Those people who don’t talk or let things out of their system, often have it hit them later in life in a bout of explosion or a fit of rage, as that negative energy has been allowed to fester in amongst good thoughts, polluting and corrupting everything.

In conclusion — share your problems, embrace stillness and declutter your mind.